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5 love languages
Posted by HuiHui
on
9:18 PM
“Welcome to the real world of marriage, where hairs are always on the sink and little white spots cover the mirror, where arguments center on which way the toilet paper comes off and whether the lid should be up or down. It is a world where shoes do not walk to the closet and drawers do not close themselves, where coat do not like hangers and socks go AWOL during laundry. In this world, a look can hurt and a word can crush. Intimate lovers can be come enemies, and marriage a battlefield.” – Gary Ghapman. The book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Ghapman is a beautiful gift from Iris, Janice, Alvin & Dora. Thanks gals. :)
Love is the most important word in the English language – and the most confusing. We use it in a thousand ways. We say “I love hot dogs,” and in the next breath, “I love my mother.” We speak of loving activities; swimming, skiing, hunting. We love objects: food, cars, houses. We love animals: dogs, cats, even pet snails. We love nature: trees, grass, flowers, and weather. We love people: mother, father, son, daughter, parents, wives, husbands, friends. We even fall in love with love.
If all that is not confusing enough, we also use the word love to explain behavior. “I did it because I love her.” That explanation is given for all kinds of actions. A man is involved in an adulterous relationship, and he calls it love. The preacher, on the other hand calls it sin. The wife of an alcoholic picks up the pieces after her husband’s latest episode. She calls it love, but the psychologist calls it codependency. The parent indulges all the child’s wishes, calling it love. The family therapist would call it irresponsible parenting. What is loving behavior?
The purpose of the book is not to eliminate all confusion surrounding the word love, but to focus on that kind of love that is essential to our emotional health. According to Dr. Gary Chapman different people express love in different ways. What speaks volumes to one may be meaningless to ones spouse. In fact, there are five specific languages of love:
1) Quality time
2) Words of affirmation
3) Gifts
4) Acts of Service
5) Physical touch
Which is your primary love language? The piggy in me would go for acts of service. I must admit that MH did relatively well in this area, well enough to keep the love tank (as referred to by Dr. Gary) full. Just last week, without been asked he helped me to renew my car road tax and insurance. It’s not that I’m a totally dependent person, but I do appreciate if he volunteers to help. Around the house, he is equally helpful as well. He sweeps and mops the floor meticulously clean every Saturday, occasionally does the laundry and folds the clothes, cooks up spaghetti when we both are too lazy to venture out, volunteers to do the dishes if I cook, takes out garbage, etc...hope the list keeps growing :p, however I’m grateful for all he is already doing.
Love is the most important word in the English language – and the most confusing. We use it in a thousand ways. We say “I love hot dogs,” and in the next breath, “I love my mother.” We speak of loving activities; swimming, skiing, hunting. We love objects: food, cars, houses. We love animals: dogs, cats, even pet snails. We love nature: trees, grass, flowers, and weather. We love people: mother, father, son, daughter, parents, wives, husbands, friends. We even fall in love with love.
If all that is not confusing enough, we also use the word love to explain behavior. “I did it because I love her.” That explanation is given for all kinds of actions. A man is involved in an adulterous relationship, and he calls it love. The preacher, on the other hand calls it sin. The wife of an alcoholic picks up the pieces after her husband’s latest episode. She calls it love, but the psychologist calls it codependency. The parent indulges all the child’s wishes, calling it love. The family therapist would call it irresponsible parenting. What is loving behavior?
The purpose of the book is not to eliminate all confusion surrounding the word love, but to focus on that kind of love that is essential to our emotional health. According to Dr. Gary Chapman different people express love in different ways. What speaks volumes to one may be meaningless to ones spouse. In fact, there are five specific languages of love:
1) Quality time
2) Words of affirmation
3) Gifts
4) Acts of Service
5) Physical touch
Which is your primary love language? The piggy in me would go for acts of service. I must admit that MH did relatively well in this area, well enough to keep the love tank (as referred to by Dr. Gary) full. Just last week, without been asked he helped me to renew my car road tax and insurance. It’s not that I’m a totally dependent person, but I do appreciate if he volunteers to help. Around the house, he is equally helpful as well. He sweeps and mops the floor meticulously clean every Saturday, occasionally does the laundry and folds the clothes, cooks up spaghetti when we both are too lazy to venture out, volunteers to do the dishes if I cook, takes out garbage, etc...hope the list keeps growing :p, however I’m grateful for all he is already doing.
